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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682325">You Can Check Out Anytime You Like</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRH/pseuds/DeanRH'>DeanRH</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>15x20, Dark, Depressing, EMPHATICALLY THE OPPOSITE OF A FIX IT, Heavy Angst, Horror, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Inspired by Stephen King, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Psychological Horror</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:33:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRH/pseuds/DeanRH</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is in Heaven. Dean loves the road. Dean is driving.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>***PLEASE DO NOT READ IF IT WILL PUT YOU INTO A BAD MINDSET!!***</p>
<p>I wrote this to get it out of my head. It is Stephen King style psychological horror in a short story format based on the episode. It is very much the opposite of a fix-it so please be aware of that. I'll be adding to my fix-it as well today if you are looking for a more upbeat take on things.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was the road and the road and the road.</p>
<p>Dean loved the road.</p>
<p>Dean loved driving.</p>
<p>There was the bar.</p>
<p>Inside the bar was a man who looked like Castiel.</p>
<p>Wearing the face of Dean's beloved.</p>
<p>"Cas, Cas," wept Dean, throwing his arms around the man. "Cas, you never let me say - "</p>
<p>"I'm not Castiel," said the man, his features twisting into something like disgust. </p>
<p>Less than disgust. </p>
<p>Indifference.</p>
<p>"What?" asked Dean. And then, "What?"</p>
<p>"I'm Jimmy," said the man, "Please leave me alone, Dean. You've done enough."</p>
<p>Dean stepped back. Numb. </p>
<p>Jimmy turned away from him, turned Castiel's beloved face away from him, and returned to his conversation, shoulders moving as if to say <em>can you believe that guy</em></p>
<p>Dean swallowed hard and heard a click in his throat, which shouldn't be possible in his own heaven.</p>
<p>He looked around the bar. The people inhabiting it were only vaguely familiar faces, people from across the years, but none of the people he might have wanted to see.</p>
<p>None of the people who genuinely loved or cared about him.</p>
<p>Dean was driving.</p>
<p>Dean loved driving.</p>
<p>Dean loved the road.</p>
<p>"Your mom and dad live over there," Bobby had said.</p>
<p>Yes, his homophobic, abusive, cruel father <em>shared a heaven with him.</em></p>
<p>Yes, his mom too, who had turned out to be just as abusive as his dad in other ways.</p>
<p>Like his heaven had been built by people who had <em>heard </em>about Dean, but didn't know him.</p>
<p>The way a family friend might build it, who didn't know - </p>
<p>who didn't know.</p>
<p>Dean was driving.</p>
<p>Dean loved driving.</p>
<p>Dean loved the road.</p>
<p>Dean was alone.</p>
<p>Dean was alone.</p>
<p>Dean was alone in an empty heaven with his abusive parents, random acquaintances, and a man who hated him, wearing his lover's face.</p>
<p>Dean wondered if Hell had been rebuilt too.</p>
<p>Dean wondered how long this road was.</p>
<p>Dean wished he could stop driving.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Author's Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I feel the need to apologize for writing something so dark, especially given how things are at the moment. However, the episode felt like a horror ending to me in the psychological way despite all the episode's insistence to the contrary. So I wanted to write it down.</p>
<p>Hope you are all doing okay.</p>
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